Welcome to Picksburgh
by Moonfairyhime
Summary: Tag to "Dream a Little Dream of Me"--Sam and Dean stop in a hoagie shop on the way out of Pittsburgh and get acquainted with the fabulous language that is Pittsburghese.


Title: Welcome to Picksburgh  
Author: Moonfairyhime  
Rating: K  
Disclaimer: I don't own the lovely Winchester boys.  
Characters: Sam, Dean, and two OFC  
Summary: Well, "Dream a Little Dream of Me" was set in Pittsburgh and, being a Pittsburgh girl, I was saddened by the lack of Pittsburgh-esque things in the episode. So I fixed that.  
Feedback: Please and thank you.  
Author's Notes: Slightly self-insertion, but not in your typical way. I could call this stereotyping, but it's not, since we actually say this stuff. Thank you to wilcatlizzie for her beta job and encouraging me to stay up past my bedtime to write this. Any remaining errors are mine. And, if you're from Pittsburgh, I honestly admit to making up most of the directions to getting back on the highway. I wanted to include some more fun Pittsburgh sayings/things.

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Sam was hoping they were going to make it out of Pittsburgh before the snow became worse, but Dean had declared himself hungry and they stopped at a little sandwich shop. Dean walked up to the counter and smiled at the brunette, who was proudly wearing her Ben Roethlisberger jersey, even if the Steelers didn't make it past the play offs. Her name tag declared her as Elizabeth. She gave both boys a smile. "Can I help you?" 

Dean smiled. "Yes you can, honey. I'll have a sub…"

"A what?"

Dean appeared confused. "A sub… You know a sandwich."

"Oh, you mean a hoagie," Elizabeth said, getting the bread out, "Is this for here or to go?"

Sam and Dean exchanged looks and Dean answered, "To go, please."

"You want chipped ham on it?"

"Do I want what?"

"Yinz ain't from here, are you? It's just ham."

"…Chipped ham is fine."

"What else would you like on the hoagie?"

"Lettuce and tomato."

"What kind of pop do you want?" At Dean's confused look, Elizabeth elaborated. "We have Pepsi, Sprite…"

Dean smiled at her. "I'll take a Sprite."

"Lizzie, dear, sorry I'm late. A jagoff cut me off and I swear to God, the nebshit was looking in my car. Then a PAT bus cut me off and went 10 miles an hour. I had to find a different parking spot because old Mrs. Rogers has those damn chairs out again and I didn't want to park near the jagger bushes."

Dean and Sam both turned around as a blonde walked in the door wearing a Troy Polamalu jersey, just as proudly as Elizabeth. She paused as she shook loose snow out of her hair, before walking towards the counter. Her name tag said Nikki and she gave both Sam and Dean an appraising look, focusing on Sam for a minute, before facing Elizabeth. "D'jeet yet?"

Elizabeth didn't pause from making Dean's sandwich. "No, did'ju?"

"Ate before I got here… Go ahead and take your break. I'll finish up this order. Oh, and Steve wanted me to let you know that the paychecks are gumbanded together in the break room, don't forget to take yours. And while you're back there, red up the place a little, please."

"Sure. Oh, while I'm gone, put fresh salt and pepper n'at on the tables, woodya?"

Nikki waved Elizabeth off and smiled at the boys. Dean, feeling that his order was complete, pushed Sam forward so his little brother could order his food. Nikki smiled. "What kind of sammich do you want?"

Sam had studied how Dean and Elizabeth interacted and was sure he would do better understanding the Pittsburgher. "I'll have a fish sandwich, please."

"You want that with the works?"

Yeah, and there went Sam's theory. "I'm sorry?"

"You know, provolone cheese, coleslaw, and French Fries, smothered in Heinz ketchup." Nikki paused at Sam's look. "Yinz ain't from here, are you?"

"No, we're not. Sorry. And on second thought, I'll just have a hoagie myself. Same as his," Sam said, as he pointed to his brother.

Nikki nodded and began to make the same hoagie that Dean had ordered. "Well, since yinz ain't from here, mind if I make a few suggestions of places to visit? Pity yinz ain't here during Stillers season. That's the best time to be in the 'Burgh."

"Sure, we're always up for a day of sight seeing, right, Sammy?" Dean grinned at his brother.

"Well, you're here at the wrong time of the year to go to Kennywood... I'm sure you've seen the yella-kellered signs. Those take you right to the place… Let's see, you can go to the Carnegie libraries if you like or the Carnegie Museum or even the Carnegie Science Center. You can always visit the Point, or if you want out of the city, visit the Waterfront." Nikki paused, handing Sam his sandwich. "I'm sure I'm missing a few things, but something tells me that yinz are just humoring me."

Sam smiled kindly as he paid. "Thanks for the tips, but we really have to be going. But what's the easiest way to get back on the highway from here?"

Nikki paused from cleaning the corner. "Well, you make a left at the red light between the cemeteries. At the next stop sign, you'll make right. You'll go across one… two… three bridges and up and down a lot of hills. At the next red light, you'll go straight. That'll put you on the highway. Oh, and if you go past a UPMC hospital or if you cross a crick, you've gone too far, but if you cross the Monongahela River, you're on the right path. Hopefully yinz will get out of here before rush hour, 'cause that's a bitch. Stay away from the Squirrel Hill tunnels or the Liberty tube… or any tunnels or else you'll be stuck in there _forever_. And one last word of warning—watch out for the potholes. They'll eat your car. Snow's not deep enough to fill 'em in yet."

As Sam and Dean began to walk out the door, Nikki called out one last warning, "Be careful out there, it's slippy!"


End file.
